I am now just back in Kathmandu, The trip was the most
amazing and humbling expedition of my life. It taught me things that I never
knew about myself. It showed me that a dream can become fact. It showed me that
trust in yourself is most important.
I will post a full report later, after the dirt has been
washed from my hair, but for now the thoughts I had before the trip may allow
readers to understand the places my mind went.
4 March
Sleepless night. Mind flashes to the future, to the
possibility of failure to the real possibility that I have cut this trip too
tight, that the tight rope is not stable. Is it foolish to not leave any leeway
but this is what I have done, no margin for error solo, alone.
6 March
Plans the leave today come crashing down, all cancelled
flights to Lukla a bad weather warning – no more flights, so a day of making
new plans, but defeated by Holi festival on 7th. No new bookings to
be taken for flights to Lukla – alone, street walking, chasing away demons of
yester year – chasing away the negative thoughts. Have I doubted the logistic
issues of this expedition – over reached in an opportunist frame?
7 March
My Heart is heavy now, loneliness is creeping in, the monster
in the closet I knew would show his face. Now he sits and blinks at me, letting
me know he is in the shadows watching. To be alone to chase the sacred
feelings. But to fight for peace, solitude, self-individualisation and that
personal space after living in this 247/365 age of social media and more.
