Thursday, 22 March 2012

The sand beaches of the mind.

I am now just back in Kathmandu, The trip was the most amazing and humbling expedition of my life. It taught me things that I never knew about myself. It showed me that a dream can become fact. It showed me that trust in yourself is most important. 

I will post a full report later, after the dirt has been washed from my hair, but for now the thoughts I had before the trip may allow readers to understand the places my mind went.

4 March

Sleepless night. Mind flashes to the future, to the possibility of failure to the real possibility that I have cut this trip too tight, that the tight rope is not stable. Is it foolish to not leave any leeway but this is what I have done, no margin for error solo, alone.

6 March

Plans the leave today come crashing down, all cancelled flights to Lukla a bad weather warning – no more flights, so a day of making new plans, but defeated by Holi festival on 7th. No new bookings to be taken for flights to Lukla – alone, street walking, chasing away demons of yester year – chasing away the negative thoughts. Have I doubted the logistic issues of this expedition – over reached in an opportunist frame?

7 March

My Heart is heavy now, loneliness is creeping in, the monster in the closet I knew would show his face. Now he sits and blinks at me, letting me know he is in the shadows watching. To be alone to chase the sacred feelings. But to fight for peace, solitude, self-individualisation and that personal space after living in this 247/365 age of social media and more.

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