How do you
express passion?
How do you
explain reason to events only you have encountered?
Having
navigated my small plastic kayaks down the rivers of EVEREST and K2 I wish to share
with others some of the thoughts, feelings and emotions that come from such an
act. More will come as I get near to returning to the great mountain - a solo trip this time, a double run on the tears that fall from Everest.
Gazing up
the valley from the Rongbuk monastery in Tibet
the majestic peak of Everest (Sagamartha) showed herself through the
parting clouds. Beside my small tent sat a small plastic kayak still wet from
the river.
Sat against
the wall of the monastery I could not
help but choke on the emotions that had built up. All the trials of the past
had lead to this moment I had finally become the only person to have kayaked
down all the rivers that flow from the great mountain.
The Arun in
Nepal. A trip littered with problems not least the encounter with Maoist rebels
and the sound of gun shots. Eighteen months later I trekked into Namche Bazaar
to run the Dudh Kosi river. In the enforced boundaries of Tibet I had managed
to ride the last of the three rivers that flow from Sagamartha. Droplet tears
fell down my bearded face. As the realisation of what I had done swept over me.
I had not
been alone on any of these river, kayaking with great friends. But each river had been a different team. I
was the only constant on all three expeditions. Even now sitting alone, looking
out of the rain stained window of my cottage I find it hard to identify with
what I have achieved.
Those that
ask often look blankly into mid distance as I reel off story after story. How do
I rationalise what I did? How will those that listen understand the private
thoughts. In the telling all bravado and ‘extreme experiences’ seem to emanate
from the words although this is not the reason. Through the re-telling it is
hoped that the perception of ‘extreme’ sports offer more than just an adrenaline filled lifestyle.
This is a journey for myself, a solo quest, I know that I will find the truth. That moment when you are with your god. The moment when the devil of your mind runs away and hides in the memory.
It is this time, the place I must force myself to go, that I crave. I want to know myself, to deal with my own whim, without the pull of peers, or the ties of blood. I ache to know the feelings of the night, when the dark sky forces sleep and the dreams grow cold in the soul.
